Scientists announce major breakthrough:
Pedadermal fungus, commonly known as 'athelete's foot' now considered eradicated.

In related news: Olympic athelete's foot stamped out in freak equestrian accident.


things that make you go hmmmm...:

dead corpse
tumorography [tomography]
new idea
sedimentary lifestyle [sedentary]
very innovative [as compared to somewhat innovative?]
worldwide pandemic
eight hours of long-lasting relief [would not four hours of relief be long lasting? overnight?]


sweat this one out:

... the ad for an anti-perspirant that shows a black guy doing some major rock-climbing -- hanging off the side of a very dry and dusty cliff, in the blazing sun, by himself, rubbing on some potion supposedly so he won't sweat. What's the point? Why a black guy? Because we seldom see a hot sweaty white anglo-saxon protestant pumping a basketball down court, do we.
Notice how the word sweat is never mentioned. And that product effectiveness is measured in degrees of dryness... never wetness... (or sweat).

Product X -- Keeps you Drier!

Heaven forbid that our pits get a little damp when we are scaling cliffs.

"Hey! Take at look at that guy way up there"... (passes 10 X binoculars to companion).
"Check his pits out! He sure has one big perspiration going on there!
How shameful, that!"

We watch ads for pecker-picker-uppers and toilet bowl cleansers and everything else, but we never hear the word 'sweat' used anywhere.

Odd, that. Maybe I missed something.
Maybe the work ethic has changed.
Maybe there's an eleventh commandment...
Thou shalt not be seen to sweat.


Yet when the weather is cool, we don't put on a 'perspirator', do we?

No.

We grab a sweater.
What's the deal with that?

As far as clothing: there's underwear and outerwear these days, but no innerwear or overwear.

Have you noticed that some outerwear and footwear are touted to have 'moisture-wicking' properties?

...'wicks moisture away to keep you dry and comfortable'.

I admit it does have a more gentle appeal than 'sweat-sucking' though.


But if sucking is a no-no word in advertising:

what about lipo-suction then?
shouldn't it be called lipo-wicking?
he has a PhD in fat-wicking
wouldn't chubby people best be referred to as being lipoids... or lipoidic in nature?
some of my best friends are lipoids (besides, I can outrun them should they take offence...).
how would you like a lipo-lip?
this yogurt is low-lipo.
do-nuts are lipoidic.
this margarine is lipo-gratis
there goes a lipo-potamus
and another one
and another
mercy... it's a lipodemic


my wallet is low-fat.
Christmas is money-wicking.


While the word sweat has an honesty about it, we probably won't
get to hear it much. Too coarse for the gentry.


imagine if civility left us altogether, what it might lead to?

We would escape nice words like breast.

The food industry would no longer sell chicken breast sandwiches!

Instead, we would have: