A COLOUR FAN DECK is essential when choosing colour schemes

but first, the caveat:

I know what you are saying: "always the caveat - always the flaming caveat - why does there always have to be a flaming caveat just when I thought all was said and done with the last divorce attorney". Hey! Good news. No attorneys here, nor do you need one.

What you do need is a knowledge of colour theory in order to use a fan-deck.

The good news? It's easy like borscht to learn.
So before you run upstairs and coil up in a fetal position under the bed, hollering down to your spouse that any old off-white will do... learn here how to flaunt your colour-picking prowess with such arrogance and wild abandon that all your neighbours pack up and scatter and vacate the neighbourhood without having given the least bit of thought in their haste to provide you with any of their forwarding addresses such as they may be known at the time of departure.

Colours play an important role in life. They influence feelings and moods - diminish appetites - bore the beans out of us. But when flooring, fabrics, and furnishings all come together in harmony, we can and do feel more comfortable in our surroundings.

So many choices... so little time... is it Friday yet?

Colour brochures are freely available through most major paint suppliers. These simplify your choices by grouping colours into a number of appealing colour schemes, and in doing so, also eliminate several million confusing colour options.

Meant to be a source of inspiration and ideas, these groupings are helpful. Unfortunately they are only relative to each other and not to actual home surroundings.

Since your home surroundings are (usually) unique to you, it is much better to have a basic understanding of how colours work together, rather than to limit your choices to a handful of colours from a sales brochure.

There's more to colour harmony than settling for an off-white.

Off-whites are popular because they create the feeling of openness and space. If this is your desired effect, all may be well and good, but if you are like many other homeowners that will settle for any off-white - thinking that because it has little colour to begin with, that it will therefore go with anything in your home - wrong wrong wrong.... Off-whites are still colours, no matter how pale or subtle. Even an off-the-shelf factory pure white will carry an undertone such as / blue (C.I.L., B.M.) / grey (Pittsburg) / creamy (Para, Glidden).

So... the question remains: How to pick a harmonizing colour?

Glad you asked.... Get out of your dilemma and into your paint store. Ask the dealer about borrowing one of his colour fan-decks. In this case, it helps to be in a small town. While you can expect to hear some initial whinging, you will find this wanes nicely with judicious persistence. Presently, no doubt you will hear him say 'funny-you-should-ask-but-we-seem-to-be-all-out-of-those at the moment'. Look on this and accept it as being nothing more than a feeble ruse. Press on. Now would be the time to casually mention your rights as a consumer, and in doing so, be sure to keep an eye on his bearing. If you are the least bit observant, the slight drop of his shoulders will indicate that you are making headway in your quest, and that you have now garnered his utmost attention.

For you, this is the moment - both of discretion and decision. As tempting as it may be, do not threaten litigation at this time. These welter-weight words have been known to bring even the hardiest of shop-owners to their knees, and while having a shop-owner all crumpled up in a heap at your feet may elicit from you an initial feeling of exuberance - much like the first cigarette of the day, or a woody, or high-beams; similarly, it will prove itself to be of such a transitory nature that it is best ignored in favour of other less drastic avenues. Pretend not to hear the ongoing whinging, but err on the side of insistence. Beg, borrow, and beg yet again. Assume your best blank face. Act cadaver-like. Speak in a mono-tone. Offer to leave a deposit. If accepted, then do so... and as he holds your seven-dollar bill up to the light to check it's authenticity, quickly slip out the back, clutching your absconded fan deck in your hot little hand.

At home, squeeze out some steamy tunes on your DVD player to go along with the great steamy monochromatic and analogous colours you can squeeze from your new possession.

HERE'S HOW: